Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit..."

When God places things on my heart I write about them. I like write about it and share it, mainly because it's usually something I struggle with, in hopes of perhaps helping to encourage others dealing with the same thing. Even if only because it helps them to know they aren’t alone in their struggles.

"...but in humility consider others better than yourselves."
To be blunt, I can be extremely selfish, so often I focus on doing things my way, on having what I want. One huge example of selfishness was this last week during CRU’s Big Break in Panama City Beach. I was sick and I definitely knew it, but rather than pulling back and reducing my exposure to the other people and trying to protect them from getting ill, I put myself first. My attitude was pretty much, I paid $270 for this trip I’m wanted to enjoy it, I wanted to meet people, I wanted and I wanted. I can hear myself saying it many times when people said I should rest my voice, which I had lost due to illness. I told them I wanted to get the most out of the trip. I went there to serve God, and I did, but I also let it become very much about me, which it wasn’t and shouldn’t have been.

It is ok to want things, nowhere does the bible tell us we have should have no self-interests, but when you become so self-interested that we aren’t looking out for the interests of others. When this becomes true is when self-interests become problems. Philippians 2:4 says “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” That week I failed to live that out. I put every single person I came across at risk of illness because I wanted. I did not live by the attitude that Jesus lived out and calls us to live, Philippians 2:7-8 “but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!” He calls us to self-sacrificing humility and love for all people. Reading this scripture really broke me.

I know that I can be selfish at times, to deny it would be lying, but I always rationalized it, I’m really good at rationalizing, by saying to myself that if I serve others enough a little selfishness is ok. However, I’m pretty sure that would be selfish serving and isn’t very pleasing to God. I love to serve, and God calls us to serve each other and finds loving humble service pleasing, but serving to make ourselves feel better about our other sins is serving with the wrong heart attitude. The last part of the passage hit me hardest, to think that the Son of God came to earth, humbling Himself, giving up his seat of glory to suffer, be humiliated and die for me. It's not so much that I've never thought about it, because it's something on my mind often, it just happened to resonate strongly with me in this instance. But if Jesus can give so much for me, I can let go of my desire to have things my way and serve others with pure intentions and a heart pleasing to God. Of course, I know I can’t do it alone, as Jesus said in Matthew 19:26 “’With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” The first part is Jesus referring to man being unable to attain salvation alone, but the second part is important. With God all things are possible, not some things or most things, but all things. That is our God, and He is amazing!