I’m currently sitting here in Brussels waiting for my last flight, from Brussels to Lungi International in Freetown, Sierra Leone and there are about a million things running through my mind. The biggest thing is that I was totally naïve thinking it would be no problem to leave everyone I know and love behind for eight months for a place where I don’t really know anyone, I was wrong. I currently feel ok but on the flight from DC to Brussels I cried for almost an hour doing the best I could to keep it under control, hopefully the low lighting helped but regardless I am sure at least some of the people around me noticed. I have not felt as torn inside as I did last night on the plane in a long time.
The last three years have been an incredible period of growth and change as I went from hurting anti-social introvert to somewhere closer to content super-social extrovert. In that period of time God has placed amazing people in my life that have helped me make that transition, however as I have realized for a while I really put too much of my faith in people, relying on people to help keep me sane as I’ve struggled through a lot of things in my past. I can’t help but find myself wondering if this may be part of God’s plan for me as I go to Kamakwie to teach for eight months, to break the bonds of needing people so much that by myself I get apathetic and quite frequently depressed.
I know moving from needing people in my life to help me deal to wanting people in my life because I love them is important because when I rely on the people in my life I don’t rely enough on God. This is going to be a hard experience regardless and I would ask for your prayers as I confront and deal with this during my time in Africa.
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