October 12, 4:28 PM (UTC +1:00)

So this morning has been pretty come and go, sometimes I feel at peace with what I am doing here and in the next moment I suddenly feel sad. But it’s been getting better every day and I’m hoping as I draw nearer to God and begin to shed my doubts and fears that by the end of a week that I will be at peace more often than not. We had dinner last night with a family who just arrived last night, the Mahers. There are four of them, Linda and Peter who are both doctors and their two kids Jordan and Philip who are 10 and 8 respectively. They are really nice and they are going to be here for 4 months. I couldn’t believe how well their kids are taking it. I understand that their parents are here but my first night here was devastating so figured they would be cranky or at least a little down but they are doing remarkably well, all excited about getting to go to school with all the African kids. We helped them set up their fridge and stove today. And I got to see the primary school where their kids will be going. It’s so crowded with little kids who are all so adorable, we peeked into one room and the kids just came flooding over just want to touch me or shake my hand, saying all kinds of stuff from their names to a bunch of stuff I couldn’t understand. It was really cool. Anyway, I taught for the first time today, that was an adventure that went from bad to worse. I started out feeling really good about it. I got ready to go and at 12 I started heading to the school with my loaded backpack and a box with 14 biology books in it, now that’s heavy. And because it’s hot here I was immediately dripping with sweat. Anyway, I got lost, I thought I knew where I was going but definitely not. Thankfully I ran into two students Siman and Nabi from the school getting ready to go and they led me there. Once I got there I met with principal Kimaro. He got me my schedule and I was getting ready to teach when I realized I hadn’t brought any water, I had to walk back to the hospital the long way because I still don’t know how to go the short way. I got my water and headed back. I had to teach two hours of chemistry to the Senior Secondary 3 class, which is like the seniors. This started off bad because I couldn’t get them to talk about what they know, then they suggested I work on radioactivity which basically turned out to be a math tutoring session as I attempted to teach them about radioactive half lives. But I held on and felt ok once that ended. Then came the two hours of biology with the SS2 class, the juniors. Well that didn’t go so well. I fumbled for a bit trying to find what they knew, got no response so I tried to begin teaching about the skeleton system but that was going well either. They know English but it’s not good and when three or four of them are trying to explain how they were taught before you pretty much cant understand anything. I got so overwhelmed by the feelings of being inadequate and worrying about how I was going to last 8 months when I wanted to give up on my first day. Eventually we decided to end class early and I left and cried part of the way back to the hospital. God must have some serious growth plan for me. There is no way I can handle this with what I have, I need Him so bad. Please pray that I can focus on Him and somehow manage to teach the 19 hours of class I’m scheduled for, because the 19 hours of class doesn’t cover any of the planning I have to do or anything and I’m just feeling seriously overwhelmed right now. I’m finally getting adjusted and now I have this. I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into but I know God is the only one who can pull me through this.